Listening to some 8tracks funk while doing my essays (WTF I HAVE 3 TO BE DONE BY THIS WEEK LOL) because i finished my econs cheatsheet in less than an hour… did i mention all my classmates’ ones are like super condensed with so much info and shit while mine is pathetically empty but… idagf
School has been fun except i do not like it that i can’t remember when was the last time that I ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND WHATS GOING ON
Regret taking lit because when i look around me all i see is a sea of intelligent bright faces, these kids are gonna go so far in life
No time for regrets though?
Time to get started on my essays *crumbles*
NOT GONNA STUDY FOR ECONS HAHAHAHAHA
I’m ranting/blogging so much on tumblr because i should not fill up my blog with my semi-personal negativity no?
Curses! Stupid family.
I honestly really DETEST my father’s side of the family. I have alot of love to give to everyone except for them. Materialistic bunch.
Disgusting really. I place alot of emphasis on family, especially to my parents, sis and aunts from my mother’s side. But the relatives from my father’s side receive absolutely no respect from me.
Firstly they treat my dad like shit. Like a fool. Some idiotic uncle wants to ‘buy’ a present for my grandma (health supplements) and he must collect money from every single sibling to cover the full cost. WTF! If you want to be a filial son, go ahead. Or at least discuss it with your siblings first before buying it then suddenly forcing everyone to fork out money to contribute. And this asshole always collects extra for himself. Honestly are we idiots to you!? No shame. Also, what kind of son are you? Is it that hard for you to buy a genuine present for your mum and BEAR THE FULL COST!? I’m sure the amount of money can’t even compensate the love that my grandma showered on you when you were a kid right? MONEY-EYED FREAK
And family dinners are the WORST. Stupid 3rd aunt loves to organize this kind of shit and she only overcharges us because she thinks we’re doing really well. She tells my dad that every family must fork out $300 for the dinner in a regular hawker center which is ridiculous because there are around 5+ families so how much does the dinner cost!? $1.5k??
And my dad who is so gullible stupidly paid $150 when he went for the dinner by himself last year -__-
So it turns out that THERE ARE FUCKING DOUBLE STANDARDS. BITCH.
Another stupid uncle who gambles money drinks booze smokes and does all the typical things that make him BANKRUPT with his family of 3 kids pay $50. Other families pay at most $100 WHILE WE ARE FUCKING OVERCHARGED. I understand if there isn’t enough money to cover the dinner and you ask politely if we can fork out more BUT IS THERE A WORD ‘ASS’ SPRAWLED ALL OVER OUR FOREHEADS? BITCH.
So this bitch also tells my dad that grandkids who are working (my sis is) must contribute extra $50 for the dinner. Ok, so how come the 101 other working adults don’t have to pay? Only my sis?
Aiya i have so many other things to rant about but point is MY DAD DOES NOT EVEN DARE TO STAND UP FOR HIMSELF!?
All he does is complain to my mum about all of this but he doesn’t even make it clear to the bunch of cut-throat money grubbers that WE ARE NOT FUCKING PUSHOVERS. So i was like ‘ok if she tries to make us pay more then let me talk to her’ (cause no matter what i’m a girl/kid so she won’t dare to scold me too much plus i’m not close to them and she will be relatively courteous) and my dad was like ‘noo you are a christian and blablabla’
THIS IS NOT EVEN ABOUT BEING A CHRISTIAN AND GIVING IN TO UNREASONABLE REQUESTS. ITS ABOUT NOT LETTING PEOPLE STEP OVER YOUR HEAD!?
FUCK THIS i don’t even want to see those stupid aunts and uncles that i have no love for. And they don’t love my dad either they bullied him from young all the way till now bunch of assholes la.
Sorry if your impression is ruined because now you think i’m an unfilial child lol. I am not a stingy person either. I mean i am to my sis but i’ll gladly spend more money buying things for my parents/aunts from my mum’s side who i know genuinely love and care for me than for myself.
BUT FOR THIS GRP OF THUGS/SCUMBAGS, YOU ALL CAN SUCK IT.
Inspired from this 8tracks playlist i’m listening to currently.
I just discovered the joy of 8tracks and thus i have alot of (new) good music in my ipod currently. Lots of music to enjoy while studying…
Which brings me to the title- i don’t have dreams.
I look around and everyone is so motivated… everyone knows what they want to do in the future. And i’m at least 80% sure that they can achieve what they aim for because 1. they are smart 2. hardworking 3. motivated 4. focused, which is everything i am not
I feel like everyday i’m sinking deeper and deeper into this abyss of confusion. Like what the hell am i doing here. I don’t understand/bother listening to whats going on in lectures, i’m lagging behind, there’s not one day that i completely understand everything thats being taught in school, i’m so unbelievably lazy, i’m grumpy, impatient, i have no stamina, i’m just everything that i don’t wanna be
So much hatred
THAT I LOVE SNOW PATROL SO MUCH